My Lagos Hustle

Lagos? A place like no place but yet! It's still a place to many and I'm part. I'm a young receptionist in a well known hotel in lagos but being a fine boy and sexy guy without 6packs, I always try to fix everything that comes my way in a tush manner and clean way. You just called me a smart guy? Well, that's me. Let me tell you a story about my lagos hustle.

OLIC concert was WOW! It was everything but I pray never to go anywhere like that on a Sunday night again. I might be a smart guy but never into clubbing, partying, drinking or smoking but I was influenced by my friends before I decided to follow them to Olic and we made everything BUBBLE like a soapy soapy. *Smiles*...... I woke up 6:58am on a monday morning after sunday hangover. I shouted "JESUS" after I saw the time, I rushed to my bathroom, brushed my teeth, didn't have my bath since there was no time to waste and I thought of the traffic jam I was going to face so I rushed out still looking fresh like I swallowed air fresher. 

When I got to the park that morning, I was the last passenger going to oshodi, I sighed and entered without wasting time. Guess what? I saw this pretty girl with a long pointed nose, fair complexion with endowed body. OMG! I said this in my mind with a smile on my face while looking at the babe. "What can I do to get this girl's attention oo" I asked myself as a sharp ojota boy with banana island brain. After some minutes of moving without talking to this babe, I cleared my throat, brought out my phone and started acting like I was on a call "Hello Mr Badmus, when am I getting my 500k, mr Gbenga already paid 1million and I'm expecting Mr Bankole to bring my new 2.5m car" I was still talking when this pretty girl looked at me and somehow winked, her wink was more sexy than Korede Bello's own in "Dorrobucci". Since I wasn't making call, I dropped the phone so fast and made my 1st attempt to talk to her, "Hello angelina, with a smile, I even licked my lips, yet feeling like a stupid boss" she looked at me and said "Hello" OMG! I almost ran mad! I started playing "Orente" in my head, I knew baba God don "Pick Up" my call even though her name wasn't "Sade". We started talking, NO! I started lying to her about so many fake things about my self, I told her how I travelled to London for 2days and then US for 1hour, believe me people, I have never been to Ikeja Airport even though I have spent 25years in lagos. She smiled all through and told me about her self too, JESUS! She portrayed herself rich! I "Shaperly" started playing "Godwin" by Korede bello and also switched to "Romantic". She was rich! I thought I have met a maga who will pay without delay.

I collected her number before I alighted and promised to take her for dinner when I finished from my company ( my reception office). I was happy! Very happy! I didn't know whether to dance or intentionally run mad after she gave me her number that morning, I paid for her transport fare with the last cash on me but I didn't care since I thought she would pay. I entered office with happiness, I told my 2nd colleague about the incident and he was happy, I told him to tell me what he wanted because I saw wealth coming my way. 

After some minutes, I was still happy about what happened not because of anything but how beautiful the lady was, sexy, rich, endowed. I did my work very well that day and got many comments. I decided to get my lunch ( Eba and ewedu with 1 meat) so as to keep me fit. I was about to take my first stroke when my phone rang, GOSH! It was Helen, the girl I met. She just called me to say hello and asked to know where I was, as a sharp guy, I told her I was in a meeting with my workers and lied I was expecting a man to bring my 50million share from a contract we just finished. She chop lie like chopsticks *I laughed" 

It was time to leave work when I heard a knock on my door, "Ohhhh who can this be na, it's almost time to leave na" I was saying this when I opened the door. OMG! I prayed to faint but didn't, it was helen! I gathered myself together fast! I smiled and didn't know what to do "Hell hello hell, what are you doing here, I didn't tell you to come, what hello what" I was confused! I was trying to push her away when my boss came down and told me to allow his daughter who just came back from abroad. EWO!!!! "I don fuck up" I told myself.... "You work here? As a receptionist? My GOD!. She said, I looked and formed a lagos boy and said "Ehn ehn I work here, na sin?" with a deep voice. I didn't know whether to leave or stay and get all my abuse from her and her father.

My people, the day went wrong! I was mocked! I went back home via trekking since I couldn't ask for my T.fare from the girl I paid for. After I got home that sad day, I didn't know what to do, how to go back to my office after the whole incidents, I tried to call helen and apologise for lying but I didn't know how to. 

"Hello Biodun, can we meet at that eatery today? I like your confidence" the message I got around 7pm from Helen. *Smiles*

Many things for lagos but yet, we keep going. *Smiles* 

Written by Aderogba Adediji

Twitter : @RealBabymouth